True story:

I was on the Apprentice- the final boardroom of the show was in an open warehouse, kind of like an ESPN Zone or something.

Earlier that day, we were huddled around a big booth and doing the boardroom thing. Our previous task was to act out scenes, and at the last minute, I was called up on the spot to do Titanic with someone. They picked it because they thought I'd flop at it.

They read the line, and I nailed it. It was the scene where Jack's in the water at the end, freezing, and makes Rose promise she'll live or whatever. "Promise me, Rose. and never...let go...of that promise." I delivered it slowly, just like in the movie, shivering from the cold and all. I nailed it. The women in my team started to cry and the guys cheered.

Back on the boardroom set, the questions begin. Trump drills us all, and I stay quiet, knowing that in some cases, it's the best thing to do. When it comes to acting, he calls me lousy, terrible, and all that. He's getting close to firing me. He said I was terrible...he could see my lips shaking, and it sounded like I was shaking with fear. I remember feeling like I had an argument to make, but wasn't going to, as it would piss him off more. No one around the booth said anything. I couldn't believe them. I was surrounded by mostly women, all of whom were practically crying when I deliveered my acting piece, and none came to my defense! They were too busy trying to set me up to get fired so it wouldn't be them!

We cut for commercial, which probably doesn't really hapen on the show, but did in my dream. During the commercial, I asked him, since I was sitting right next to Trump in the booth, if he could elaborate on my acting. I informed him that in the end of Titanic, that's exactly what Leonardo DiCaprio's character Jack does, as he's in the chilly Atlantic Ocean and quickly freezing to death while getting Rose to try and stay alive. It's a very dramatic scene, and any pauses and shivering only made the scene more dramatic.

No one else had heard me tell this to Donald- he was right next to me, and we were chatting, as I imagine he would to people at his level between meetings. Everyone around the booth started talking, probably about how I was about to get the axe. Trump was stunned. He was speechless. He looked around the table, and I knew he realized that he had made a mistake. He wasn't looking around to see who saw him make the mistake. He was looking around the booth for someone else to fire. He had been targeting me since he saw the tape of my performance, and hadn't thought of a second person. I knew I would be saved if I could keep my mouth shut and not say anything unless he asked a direct question. He was looking around, as everyone chatted, and then we cut for lunch.

During lunch, he disappeared, so we all broke up and walked around the warehouse-ESPN-Zonish place. I got some lunch and was with my brothers Dan and Mike, who were in the studio audience (this doesn't happen in the real show either.) Mike had been a fan of the show, but Dan was just there for support. I told both of them that I couldn't say what was happening (because of a contract I had signed) but that things might change around after the break. We gulped down our lunch and they called the one-m inute warning before TV would start again.

The celebrity guests in the audience hadn't come back from their breaks yet when the filming began, so the reporter who introduced the show (also doesn't exist) started ad-libbing. She made some jokes that were pretty insulting, and I think it pissed Trump off a bit. The celebrities came and sat down finally. Trump used his influence to get that narrator/reporter lady replaced immediately, and then the director yelled "Action". (I looked at my brother Mike confidently, assured that Trump was about to throw everyone for a loop by saving me and firing someone else. and mouthed, "Watch this."

And then I woke up.